by Sarah J. Gervais – Using photography, psychology, and personal experience to re-picture women

Hello friends. I have good news. Winter is melting into spring.

The days are getting longer, the temperature is getting higher, and it is raining more than it is snowing.

But spring hasn’t decided whether she’s sticking around for good. She’s a bit of a tease…peppering in gray, cold, snowy days amongst the sunny, mild (not really warm yet) days.

Yet, people are out wearing shorts and sandals, even though it is only 50 degrees.

There is something wonderful about this time of year. As the season transitions from winter into spring — the darkness turns into light and the warmth replaces the cold — we are reminded that everything, good and bad, passes. In fact, I sometimes wonder whether the bad serves the purpose of making us appreciate the good.

The winter helps us appreciate the first glimpses of spring.

A bad job makes us grateful and humble once the perfect job comes along.

The sweet touch of a loved one feels so welcoming after a long absence.

What bad in your life is making you appreciate the good?

Also, stay tuned for Re-Picturing Women Wednesday! If you didn’t get a chance, be sure to weigh in on the post from last week…re-picturing OGLING…it is a complicated issue that affects both women and men, can elicit mixed feelings, and is difficult to resist.

Things seem to keep swirling faster and faster. Although I’ve purposefully added more balance to my life by focusing on other activities besides work, adding those other things that help me to have a semblance of balance sometimes contributes to the swirling.

Can I tell you a little secret? If I’m honest with myself, in some ways I really LOVE all that swirling. It makes me feel alive. I like having challenging work that sometimes takes all of my mental and physical energy. I like having my blog and photography classes to stretch me and keep me accountable to some of my deepest dreams. I like making new connections and being part of a community, even if it sometimes gets a bit hectic.

This is not the case for everyone, but it is certainly the case for me. So instead of trying to change this about myself and my life (that never seem to stop swirling anyway), I’m trying to accept it and lean into it.

A little acceptance goes a long way. There is something ironic about stressing out because I do not have enough time to chill out. Just accepting that things are going to be swirling and that I will continue to carve out quiet moments of rest for myself makes me feel more sane.

However, I also tend to be an all-or-nothing person. I go between complete swirling to complete stillness. I feel crazy or bored. The key for me is to find that point on the continuum when I go from feeling still in the swirling to giving myself up to the swirling and feeling crazy. There tends to be a moment when the swirling goes from being energizing and life-giving to draining and life-taking.

Is there a part of you that likes the swirling? When does the swirling make you feel alive?

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I shot this picture because my heart is longing for a little back spacer for my life. Sometimes I wish I could go back in life, give myself some space, and say “no” rather than “yes.”

I’ve always been a “yes” girl. I’m a firm believer that we will regret the things in life that we don’t do much more so than the things in life that we do. I pride myself on being open to new possibilities that present themselves on this path of life. And, yet…

My life just feels too crowded lately. This is not a good thing. It makes me feel irritable, anxious, and impatient. Don’t get me wrong — I want to live a full life, but I don’t want my life to feel full of obligations — things that I feel like I need to get through for the sake of getting through them. I find myself focusing on making it through the day, rather than the moments that make up each day.

Do you ever find yourself pleasantly saying yes to a request, while your heart vehemently screams no, NO, NO! Or maybe your yeses are a little more implicit. You’re running on autopilot and the switch is turned to yes when it perhaps should be turned to no or I’ll think about it.

I think we might feel more comfortable and less guilt when we say no if we remember that every “yes” is a “no” in disguise. When we say yes to one thing, we limit the time, energy, and money that we can spend on another thing. This isn’t a problem if we are saying yes to things that are in line with our core values and desires. This isn’t a problem if we are saying yes to things that energize and delight us. However, if the switch is automatically turned to yes, we are often unconsciously saying no to our deepest dreams and desires simply because we don’t allow ourselves the time and space to pursue them.

Give yourself permission to say “no” or “I’ll think about it” to something that comes up in your life today. And then step back and give yourself space to consider whether this activity will just fill up the moments in your life or will help you to live a full life.